Still Learning

              For crying out loud it was only twenty dollars so what's the issue?

          Yes I realized too late that I'd left the box sitting on top of the community mailbox where I get my mail at. I was just pulling into the resort where I was going to do my gig when it hit me that because I was so focused on the check I'd gotten from performing I'd left the guitar strap I'd just bought and gotten through Amazon sitting on top of the mailboxes some eight miles from where I now found myself. First thought was, "You idiot!" which is probably rather accurate though I'd just as soon blame it on age or the excitement of getting paid for what I do. My second thought was that, "You know, someone is going to see it and just drop it off at my place." Because I live in a small mobile home park I figured that what with the space number on the address and all someone would just walk it over to my place, drop it on the door step and everything would be fine. I mean after all that's what I'd do.

          Of course you already know the rest of this part of the story, yup, the box was nowhere to be found when I got back some two hours later. As is my nature I rationalized all of it to where I figured either someone was waiting to get it to me when they saw my car in the driveway or they were waiting for the next day when they would give it to the postal worker and my package would find its' way back to me. So having been a couple days now and no evidence of the package that I'd taken out of the mailbox and setting on top of the mailboxes while gathering the rest of my mail and then mindlessly walking away without it I've come to the conclusion that the only way I'm going to get my guitar strap is if I order a new one and then remember to take it with me when I get it in the mail. Then again I suppose I could go down to the local music store and buy one but then let's be honest, where's the story in that?

          Anyways the tale of the, let's call it what it really is, stolen guitar strap got me thinking about some things which if you know anything about me won't surprise you.

          I don't know about you but my default mode has always been to trust and believe in other folks. To this day it is difficult for me to think that others aren't simply by nature good and honest and caring of others. And yes after a lifetime of being proven wrong I have come to accept that the rest of the world doesn't have my best interests in mind or even anywhere on its' radar. The thing is that just because I realize the truth of that it doesn't mean it's gotten into my lifestyle, my way of thinking, my view of the world and the people in it.

          Yeah, when it comes to getting taught what the world is like I got handed a story line that found me smack dab in the middle of a fantasy world that I'm still fighting with myself to get out of. You see the lesson I learned about the rest of the world was that they were the good and right and though I don't remember the word ever being use the superior ones to me and a whether I liked it or not the primary goal in my life was to simply accept that reality and never, ever question it. The message I got was that I wasn't as good, bottom line and for God's sake don't dare to ask questions.

          The sad truth is that I bought into that lesson.